areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize