But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
