You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
