i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
