when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
