He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
