At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize