Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize