dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
