Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
