Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
