If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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