We won't sleep together?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
