No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
