update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
