I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
