Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
