I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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