my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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