How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
