with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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