I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
