i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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