I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
