Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
