You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
