U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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