Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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