this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
