If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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