My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
