Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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