You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
