sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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