hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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