You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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