Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
