I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
