some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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