I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I am one with the molecules
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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