whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I bet he comes in French.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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