"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
