So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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