Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
