put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
