I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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