In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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