I like my sex mixed with concussions.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
