I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize