Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
