I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize