It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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