my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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