Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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