i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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