You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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