i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
