Pappa wants mamma naked
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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