You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
