what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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