We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
