Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
